Welcome, let the journey of your imagination begin…

mlm151

I’ve added under this tab writings in random order I have written over the years. I have alphabetized them under the Writing Tab. I have put various sayings, and musings on pictures which can be found under the Gallery of Ideas on Pictures Tab. Maybe one day, I’ll weave the story line around the writings and pictures.

I must add, not everything written is truth, some things are fantasy pieces built around fragments of observations I have made either from my own experiences, or from the experiences I have observed play out in the lives of others.

Sometimes it is easy for me to write from a flow state, and at other times not so much from a flow state, thus some pieces are often better than others; however I don’t let the pieces that are not that great stop me from writing. I have found that if I just keep writing, good, bad, or indifferent, gems on occasion miraculously appear on the page. I keep my imagination active, and I hope you will find your thought processes actively engaged in your own imagination should you take an interest in my writings.

I also should note, as much as I try to do the right thing in my life, as evidenced in my writings, I fail miserably at times as also evidenced in my writings, please do not take anything I write as advice (disclaimer), certainly sift for the meanings for your own truths(qualifier). Many things written are in metaphor and are meant figuratively, not literally.

If you are under the age of 18 some content may not be suitable for you to read, so just don’t!

 

Darsarna

tiger

I love you

I am sorry

Thank you

I am missing you

I want to call you

text you

send thoughts your way

then I remember how you told me

I would be screaming your name as I faced the fiery gates of hell

The irony is, I know you were always wanting me to do well

pushing constantly for my surrender

and to the Lord I kept it safe from your keep

Picked up gems of thought tonight

started reading about the colors of music

the dancing of light amidst the sounds

the frequencies and the cadences of your spirit

calling to my heart

knowing within

to speak again

will be another chagrin

of my underpinning

as I attempted so many times

to fit square pegs into round holes as you would say

to my hard headed ways

yet at times too

at the razors edge I stood

or perchance laid

the season of the spirit calling

to sit at the well once more

yet so long it has been

to build back my strength

to forbear my breath

yet is it strong enough

I wonder to set sail

alone

where to

into the abyss of nothingness

without a master teacher to guide me

my choice or is it just the way

the path a destiny

foretold

when you were asked

what if she is not ready

what will you do

and now if I am ready

what shall I do

leave it all behind

with only but love to guide my journey home

in letting go

there is no separation of mind

for so long on every word I hung

it takes time to see

that which one believes

sending out my apology

in each waking and sleeping breath

to be so thankful for each step of pain

reminiscent of ecstatic lifting of the life within me

transcendent, ascending, descendant

shifts that pass through

temporal entanglements of mazes cast before me

to step aside ethereal

to not be ensnared too  long

trans-formative emeshments

perchance of cosmic twins

is there ever a severing

to the chords unwound

through the distance of aeons

when I refused to utter the words of your commands

distant memories

warnings and forebodings

in spite

yet sounds around midnight in the garden

and in the morning rose petals found on the ground

amidst the bones on the rocks

too much to ponder how those events

took shape

to chasten me

I could not be caught in those traps

at least that is what I thought

yet now I wonder if those were laid

to cause me to run away

into a place where love is not

for fear and love cannot coincide

did some force drop

stumbling blocks to trip me up

yet what is, is what is salt on the ground

and in my dharma is the acceptance of the suffering

to be so blessed

to sit at your feet

to wrestle at the heal

the struggle to break free

to see

my heart bleeds and fills endlessly

in silent magnitude

where all becomes manifest

in some strange way

in the stillness where time does not exist

where miracles surface like waves

that rise with the tides

and in its depths I am calm

I love you

I am sorry

thank you

I am missing you

and through jungles I shall walk

and not fear the tigers

lurking there

for I see God everywhere

in presence

no evil can prevail

10/16/2018

 

 

Into the Green

butterfly garden pic

The light it shines so beautifully

and bounces off the nature of things

the heart shaped leaves climbing high

in the breeze you can hear the birds sing

nearby on the ground the kittens scurrying here and there

the scent of jasmine left its mark in spring

yet how wide amidst the canopy its vines

the little red trumpet flowers dancing in the wind

the china doll hues of green shimmering in the rays

in awe surrounded by the stature of the oaks

in delight within the garden

my senses breathe

 

for it is the nature of the light

that carries me

creates the life

that nurtures all things

into the green

to be blessed’

with a little bit of chlorophyll

dancing in the sky

bouncing healing all around

feeling the grounding

beneath my feet

and the freshness of the air

to lift in sprites

the faeries of the dew

sprinkling love embodied

within each breath

10/13/2018

Poison

snow white poison apple

I shall speak from the grave

you shall not cloak me there

there shall be no silence beneath the dirt

in chambers it will echo

resounding the cries

you cannot bare

when it is all given back to you

how dare you

bludgeon me

and lay at my feet

the flesh

we made

as you stole innocence

blinded by your own inabilities to eradicate

pain you stake and stake

all you see now is a shadow

but in time

the light will be so bright

you will have no where to hide

and the hole you crawled out of shall be sealed

for fate shall play its hand

we shall give you our mercy

for we shall need it no more

to you the sword shall be delivered

by the fruit you bare

the apple on the vine

swings around

back at you

its time is overdue

10/13/2018

 

Another morning

queen of swords ian llanas

Another morning with thoughts pouring forth behind my waking eyes

this memory raining within my subconscious mind

I notice and wonder

will the processing ever be through

must have been fighting demons in my sleep again

to rise from the depths of slumber to ask

how could he do this

the agony of the burden

to know

what he did

it never leaves me

it haunts me

sadness in the taunting

of my flesh

to deny

the truth

never to be set free

a mother’s soul bleeds

another day of mourning

this ax grinding in me

my purpose carved to smithereens

by the lust of disease

he planted

in his deeds

benevolent I have been

to not bring shame to the name

my children bare

one day she will see

when all the wealth is gone

and I am nowhere to be found but everywhere

in my birth

for I shall not fight with flesh and blood

but mind universal

shall prevail

when truth strikes into her heart to bare

to tell her

prisons farewell

10/13/2018

 

 

Dribbling

expanded eye stream of consciousness dribbling

Dribbling back you come around again

texting, calling, and getting upset when I don’t respond

the childishness in the man it’s a bit puzzling

my dear don’t you understand

I could have called and not heard from you in days

and did I act like a brat in some rage

huffing and puffing through the phone

claiming you were ignoring me

could it be just nothing more than a fantasy

each time you led yourself astray

and now they leave you alone to brew

it’s quite clear all you need is an ego fix

should I care to bandage your wounds

when you gouge me so easily

I wince at your ploys

and observe

and always have

if it were not such a shame

it would be quite comical

but I see your pain

my ego thinks I could teach you a thing or two

yet even my spiritual nature has its limits

I am no martyr for your cause

as you invite me to your lair

that’s not a game I care to play

why do you play yourself so cruelly unaware

maybe there is a consciousness in there knocking at your heart

but your habits so ingrained have seized you up too often

and into knots and stress you stew

and no amount of dribbling will do

your heart it simmers in all you do

maybe in time

you’ll pull it from the fire

and see it is you that roasts your ass

in each conquest and piece you gain

is a loss of your own heart

that always cries out for more

when will the player see the dues paid

are a loss of soul

to be regained perchance when clarity comes into view

if ever

to rise and be one in confidence

without dimming the light of others

to just make you feel alive

what is the beast you feed

that has your mind entrenched

is it merely hormones drenching the senses

I think it is something deeper

yet can you ever bring it to the surface

or shall you hide behind vanity and materialism

to make yourself feel success

what shall you feast upon my dear

that will get you what you desire

maybe one day you shall figure it out

with expanded eyes

but come not my way

unprepared

I’ll show you the truths

to make your ego bleed

and you’re not ready to cleanse the slate

so unto yourself is your fate

dribbling in streams of consciousness

until one day you wake

10/8/2018

Where All is Not

Nothingness

When I fell in love

it was the end of me

everything

every glance, touch and breath

I gave away

and when we parted

there was nothing left of me

and ever since

slowly I’ve been fading away

no one notices

they see me

but they don’t know

my heart is gone

and again

I would give it to you

even though I know now

it is a gift you did not realize

nor know quite what to do with

it got cast aside

for something shinier

or for some perception of something better

or a belief

that I did not fit in

to your activist mind

but there was a shell

of a prankster

posing as a kind soul

just taking all it could

and freely I gave it all

and now time fades

each day from view

searching for bliss

it chases you

and into the sublime

acceptance

I become

no more upon this plane

the final blow

love took its aim

and now there is nothing left to bleed

evaporation like water in the sun

and phantoms

in your dreams

to be so high

and to fall so deep

into the abyss

I shall fly away

in a moment without wings

I’ll see you one day

when you see me in you

it always happens that way

the iconic twist of fate

into the eyes

you swim

searching for the life raft

that floated by

the imposter within is freed

with each tree blowing in the wind

the ray of light in your lens

the pen in your hand shall not cease

to make it write

an eternal quest

when all fears dissipate

and love

is nowhere to be found

but in that soul

long departed

rise and shine upon a dream now black

to be one in nothingness

where all is not

10/5/2018

Anonymity

night wish anndr pazyniuk

Who wants to tell their tales

when they scream from the pits of hell

would you see the innocence shrieking at its loss

or paint their cries with the masks of disbelief

and deny their existence

in the place they found their selves to be cast

into a chamber of a dungeon

to spare yourselves

the task to acknowledge what was done

you cannot lock them up and throw away the key

its a neural network that leaves its mark

on destiny

the survivors know it all too well

the scars inside

no matter if you cannot see

do not remain hidden

a blemish on lives

no one wants to bare

the few who stand

face scrutiny and often blame

when into the dark they walk

to bare it all

to stay silent aligns with the crime

yet when the truth is revealed

few believe

yet more and more will speak

until the silence is removed

and from the depths of innocence

the blood of pain

shall be revealed

and its echoes

shall not cease

behind the black you cannot see

what is hidden there

anonymity screams

and shatters the facade

you wear

to turn away from truth

shall not cloak

the soul

when its time is due

Ridicule not those who grieve

and come forth into the light

to be warriors of the truth

to turn away

impales the hook

into the deeds of society

if change is not met

to see the courage

to come from the shadows

and speak

for if you cannot be a protector of truth

what lies do you hide

in the deeds you do

9/30/2018

How r u

ocean in sky

I am fine and not fine all at the same time…

good and bad all at the same time…

awake and asleep all at the same time…

I am…

open and closed all at the same time…

I am in a place where all is well independent of the nature of dualities…

not sure how I am, other than…I know I just am.

…a recluse in the depths of process…

and an albatross in the light of comeuppance.

Treading water but entrenched in roots of time

watching thoughts roll like waves flowing…

sitting in the depths where all is calm…

I am

an ocean in the sky

at times… in the ether at the interface between the two

I am

a sky in the ocean

a mere reflection

of you

9/27/18

He asks…How r u

and when my thoughts run through

I ask…

How’s that for an honest answer?

 

Know Thyself

 

charioteer of delphi

What are we here for

if not to speak the truth?

Is not our purpose here

to learn the

truth of ourselves?

9/23/18

The Ancient Greek aphorism “know thyself” (Greek: γνῶθι σεαυτόν, transliterated: gnōthi seauton; also … σαυτόν … sauton with the ε contracted), is one of the Delphic maxims and was inscribed in the pronaos (forecourt) of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi according to the Greek writer Pausanias (10.24.1).

What’s the origin of the phrase ‘Physician heal thyself’? From the Bible, Luke 4:23 (King James Version): And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country.

Starkness

starkness

Their deeds complete

they compete against truth

the masks of love to wear

the ego slips in unaware

for if love was there

never would it have been defiled

to try to resuscitate it back alive

when off the path

you both have strayed

is a pinnacle

no amount of money can buy

the deed for flesh

pays back its due

always the heart wears its marks

for gain

no flag can drape across those lies

to help gain security

upon another’s demise

stakes its claim now

and impales you

upon a hook the greed lands

blindly abandoning

the truth of love

drowning in want

when all is said and done

it will strike chords

when all is lost

the resonance will not leave

until fate has played its hand

perchance the battle

uphill will be won

when truth takes the reigns

it always does

when the game ends

and what player will you see in you

when all the material fades so slowly away

and the beliefs slip from view

and reveal the signpost

you bypassed

and dismissed so long ago

will you turn from entanglements

and see the cesspool of hate

from the core

was the motivator

for what was done

to play its opposite is an acting game

best played on stage

and not in hearts

to steal and take and claim more

to cease and pause to reflect

upon the errors of thine ways

when the deed is complete

the truth no longer shall compete

for there it stands

to be a mother is a drive so natural

yet to see it as an act of selflessness

is not so much an act of purity

when it fills a drive to fill the needs of self

a sacrifice to bear for sure

where no disdain can be found

yet to side with another to take them for granted

is to squander

the purity of purpose therewith in to be found

to make concessions for such notions

sides in oneness with the crime

prisoners unto another

you have both become

by choice the difficulties will bare

the fruits of wisdom’s design

when eyes wide open

begin to see

for we all know love cannot be bought

simple pointed truths

within the circle of life

but oh how some try to survive by gain

at another’s sacrifice

a short cut that leads no where to love

but into the oblivion

when charades will no longer suffice

and the lies we tell ourselves will no longer do

for the love we crave

wrapped in money

will leave love destitute

it is a human condition

to transcend

some ascend and some descend

ironic how some dive into the pit

all the while thinking they are soaring to new heights…

until the moment of truth stands still

and in its presence there is nowhere to hide

its kinda sad to contemplate

for in some strange ways never would I have imagined

I’d ponder if its best for some to stay in the oblivion

for my master use to say

what good is it if a man wakes up too late

for when all has been lost perchance it is best he stays asleep

9/22/18

A tale of two lovers…that kept the emeshment alive over years…one perchance had a love that was true, and the other did not however over time this person came to believe they had to win this person over after they had gone on to sleep with others taking gains along the way. The sadness is the one who initially loved went on to get mired into a situation to be with another who was dying and this person kept on getting emeshed with this past lover. You see the illusions of love are strong, and keep us coming back for more, when the truth is some are good lovers, yet love is misplaced and illusory and is far from the equation of bonding within the union of a love rooted in truth. For gain the one who loved made a choice of survival to marry a dying man for gain. The illusion of spirited mindedness was played. While the other kept using others and making concessions for what this other was doing, and as time kept marching an inheritance was forthcoming, and the death of the other became complete and now the two join forces. It is sad to see lovers blinded by gain, thinking love is their aim when their actions taken were far from truths grounded in honor and nobility of purpose. Their coming together again with material gains will ultimately be their undoing, for the foundation laid to waste truth all along the way. Attachments are hard to discern from the truth of love, for all of us, thus it is not a disdain for them, but more an analysis of wisdom in actions to see where such acts will lead.