On My Mind

You are on my mind when I sleep and when I wake

I want so much for you to be free

I know the pain it visits from time to time

yet let it not destroy you

Embrace it, then release it

until it comes again

yet what shall you learn from it each time it pays a visit

Stop not learning, stop not breathing

It is okay to cry

It is okay to mourn

But better yet it is to live and to love

embrace your heart

remove the fear

and be to yourself the parts you desire from the parent you never had

you wished for and needed so desperately

the parts to tell you

you are beautiful and dear

for my friend

that you are

beautiful and dear in all your highs and lows

give yourself a chance to heal

I think of you morning and night

and pray for your healing…

I’d like to tell you that

yet at the risk of sounding too sincere

you shun my aims…to just let you know I care…

knowing full well, it is foreign to you

something too you would perchance fear

and push away….

so in silence I will continue to pray

and when the time is right

your heart will come to know

the light

is always there….

to see today



Tragic Comedy

It’s such a tragic comedy

The pursuits of love

The irony is he

is just like me

in some respects

Running to love

Hot in pursuit

then it falls

and a new chase begins

unlike me I sit and wait

often too long

so when I give

I am ready to receive

Such a tragedy

when two meet


who have journeyed so far

a stalemate occurs

One brazened by affairs

closes off

and one softened by humility

opens up

The one receiving

imagines fears

and withdraws

The one giving

questions their presence

and retreats

and off again

time and time again

Running in circles

until the lessons are learned

time can make sense of matters

and time can heal

yet time discarded confuses sanity

and time can divide

Some things can prick the heart

for it is a funny thing

one never knows

how the piercing of it shall unfold

a truth to poke the ego

turns it on its head

and venting frustrations

simmer and burn

and often explode

a truth to poke the heart

closed off

will test

and often harm itself

Both wrestle with their demons

never quite understanding

that to each they could conquer

if the battles each faces

and has been through

were acknowledged and left

and the sword of defenses

were laid to rest

perchance then

acceptance would be a foundation

upon which trust was formed

for without it

all is lost

and the demise

of the past

becomes the victor

of the days

of our tomorrows


When life plays the individuals it is tragic

it is almost comedic if not so wrenching

to know that if one were but to honor life

one would not get so easily swept away

when underneath it all we all struggle at times

to love and be loved

yet often those caught up in moments

end up pushing and pulling and fighting

these needs of the spirit




Slumber of Illusions

slumber of illusions

Truth my bane

does it offend

for if it does

perchance it uncovers

that what ye seek to hide

under the covers of pride

where ego resides

the lies I witnessed

in all their glory

unto friends, family,

and most of all

to yourself

the path of the blind

I have to wonder

to seek selfish things in folly

to puff up their-selves

or to get their way

to fail to honor

their own true integrity

to make a servant of love

when love

by divine nature serves

and is not made a slave

to wanton desires of the heart

it lifts the soul

yet in vain used often

sneaking to gain

when offered not

of pure heart intention

what thereby is

deemed nothing of importance

not recognizing the loss of soul

in those disposable feats

never to feel complete

and to think you are scared of me

when it is what you do you should fear

there is simply no honor, loyalty,

or integrity of heart and mind

to drive your intellect by the will

of the divine

for the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom

and the path to freedom

is to see God in everything

and when you do

never would you harm another

by deceit

to gain their attention

you by default become the whore

of your desires

where place ye them

where swiftly your feet roam

I plant these seeds

yet the salt is bitter

but truth once faced

is the way to liberation

to break those shackles

to go forth in peace

trials by fire

shall test your mete

for at your feet

I knelt

and in surrender I prayed

one day a heart to heal

Your eyes begin to see

the veil of slumber

is not your soul’s resting place

for as my master/teacher use to say

what good is it if a man must lose everything

before he wakes up

for it may be better for him to have stayed asleep

…the key to conscious desire is to become one with it…

while awake and asleep

for then you see

the path to the soul’s destiny


The poison of truth, is often the very medicine used to heal, it’s bitterness the ego rejects, yet the soul begins to take notice, and once affliction is released, the healing begins…

….In peace I sleep in the palm of his hand…no matter the trials I must endure to face…

You see I was also told…do not jump into the raging river to save another, unless you are strongly tethered to your beliefs….

I used to say….I would not let another drown, I will jump even if I drown in the process…

some times that has been the case…and some times now…I see what was meant…if I walk the fine line on the fence stumbling into behaviors not wise…surely I suffer as I grapple with realizations to right matters of self….I must strongly tether myself back to actions based on spiritual precepts that are ultimately good for the soul…and lead to harmony or at the very least provide a pathway to eternal bliss…no matter life’s temporary circumstance….

for this lifetime is but a minute in the big scheme of things…

(a past writing when I grappled with analysis of my failings)

Demon’s Don’t Own Me

Of course we all stumble, no judgment, we must think and DISCERN for ourselves, and we all make mistakes unaware. Some sleep walk through life, and have moments of clarity, like the veil slowly being removed, yet some pull back the covers, not quite ready to see the manifestations of their actions and choices. Consequences or outcomes often are never thought about, and then at times, the risk is thrown to the wind. I guess I realize at times…when risk is thrown to the wind…it is almost like we throw ourselves to the wind. I guess whether it is a nefarious thing or not, it is all part of the process in metaphor helping us to define where we want to align our energies and our efforts…ultimately.

This I believe, we all have a spiritual backbone, whether one wants to believe in religious ideas, there is a creative force that brought us into existence. I think good and bad thoughts, deeds, and actions are all parts of one spectrum. I think bad events make us take notice, and can even knock us off our feet to get us to take notice. I think often that is when the spine, the fiber in us seeks answers, and in this prostrate position of sorts, we seek divine, or spirit based answers, and perchance that is why we come to an age of reason to discern those things good for our soul. We all go through this throughout life, yet some are more prone to correct the errors of their ways sooner than others, and some not so much, thus life keeps offering us chances to figure out the best path to getting what we want. It all boils down to desire, and that which ye choose to believe. Yet having said that, there is an undeniable force of energy associated with life and death and universal truths we all operate within. I tend to believe that universal force resides within us all. Perchance the thumbprint of the divine (creative force) is within our DNA, and it is our choice given to us to activate or deactivate it. Perchance our choices influence this light…after all thoughts are electromagnetic energy, and this does influence us and our capacity to affect others. Maybe it is this energy that if activated helps us to go from being prostrate to activate the strength in the marrow of our bones we need to stand firmly grounded on the path that leads to health, happiness, light, truth, and harmony. After all it is the marrow that makes the very blood of our existence! The life of the body is in the blood. How you nourish your mind, body and spirit has great effects which cannot be denied…whether the models of thought used to learn this are based in religious dogma or not. So many mysteries there are to discover, most of all the truth, if at all possible.

I must add that I am not so ignorant to not realize my own errors. I tend to have an open heart, and as such go with risks, willing to learn from experiences. Charity is a most noble aspect to ourselves whether it is to give love, food, gifts, knowledge…etc. A thought comes to mind even in the Bible it says in the Song of Solomon to give all one has for love, one would be roundly mocked. I suppose love has conditions, aside from our notion to love unconditionally. I have explained thoughts on this in other writings. You see, I guess I must admit, to love and be open at times against all odds, is sometimes even an illusion that I must face…thinking it is the right thing to do…it sometimes causes great sacrifice and pain, and some times causes my own self to think by doing so, I will be loved in return and if I am not it will all be okay in the end. It is the bait to be loved in return that I fall for, thus in some respects I have deceived my own self with the bait of my own thoughts on this matter. Hence, even though my observations reflect on others, as I wrestle with my own demons, and theirs, I have to be mindful, I do not create a snare for myself in my very own actions to love…otherwise I have by my own nature put my own head in a noose, and in the process of suffering fall prey to pointing out errors of others, when in the end I alone bare responsibility for where I end up in these matters of heart, and spirituality.