You come around when you want

It’s always on your terms

You want a pal to hang around

Like some prospect waiting to begin

Always some sort of hook to spin me in

And then the bait pulled from off my plate

You think you know me

You think this suits your needs

You think I should be grateful to watch the reels

Sleep in suites fit for Kings

Eat spreads for gluttony fills at the brim

You knew I was hungry

You threw me some crumbs

come hither with me

and have some fun

You knew I was impoverished

Yet your gains you gave away

countless times

While I sat and observed

and watch you play

I saw more than you know

So deep in peril the heart

Its pain laid out at my feet

Countless times I took it on

as friends, or lovers or nothing at all

the ego had to hang upon a shelf

and there is where my hopes and dreams

were left in unrest so many times

to be there

to choose to see

to choose to be

Like the whims of a narcissist

idolize, devalue and discard

I saw it on blast one too many times

the hoovering back time and time again

Harking for the love somewhere lost

to feel something real torn

plucked like a thorn

that always bleeds

Never did you know

how much I understood

and where the pain I saw in you resonated

from the mind of an experience

from the eyes of innocence ripped from me

To know the source of your misery

similar in vein

I relinquished long ago

and came to pull you out

but into the undertow you pulled me

never realizing the wounds you opened in me

too blind to see

to breathe

You screamed

A childish ploy

to push away

a tirade to foretell

to be dropped off

and done

What more to give

but one last bite

your cake

to go eat

Left in the wake the waves take my breath away

My peace now I give to me

and circling back you think I should bleed

to make a meal of me

Never did you seek to know me

but I know

the invasion of my gaze

is not yours to keep

My privacy of mind and peace

shall not be yours to tread

for when given freely

you gave me nothing

of love

I set sail in blood let

from the countless tides of pain

of all the tears that fell

drowning in hope

love bled out

and onto the shore I have safely landed

The life raft you cast back at me

is the one meant for you, not me

You never knew me

for it was always all about you

could not see the hand held out

to pull you from the abyss

to show you the way

and in my absence

perchance you will see the path

for all you gave

to you left bread crumbs

all throughout our journeys

if you will but drink

the love

like wine

 

11/12/2019