In Memories of a Kiss


In Memories of a kiss

I just wanted to

kiss his cares away

touch his skin

to unwind his mind

let him feel relief

to open his heart

and seek to touch me…



into the starlight merged

a moment of bliss

found in a kiss

where open hearts burned

lights of infinity channeled

to build a bridge from you to me…

waiting to return

to tuck myself in

and you in to me…

to melt into

each other’s arms…




Fools make folly of such simple things

yet the wise know with just one kiss

the energies of two can harmonize

with each other

with every breath

between the beat of hearts…

oh where oh where has my little dog gone

with its tail so long

wagging it out for

every fish to see

such nuance

to eyes that see

from a different point of view….

out giving his energy

to tails in disguise

for he is the King

of his own demise

for he fails

to search

the matter

high and low

and in the end

in the doghouse

alone he goes….

you know those little cages for animals…

who know not

how to use deductive reasoning wisely

or how to use the energy they have been given

to bridge a light

between two hearts…

but hey after all a dog

is a man’s best friend,

not so sure it is a woman’s best friend…

no matter its ability

to hump the leg

of everything it sees…..HA!


Note: Started to date someone, yet had to decided to not go any further than a kiss for he is one of these types caught up in a mid life crisis of sorts, always on dating sites, and I decided he was just not the one for me. Yet, I did create a few fantasies in hopes initially it might turn out to be a good thing, but in the end, I had to let that fish swim back to sea. So many western men, know nothing of the Kama Sutra,; it’s kinda sad, they have no clue…yet there are many who do as well.

Senses Beyond Time

senses beyond time1
 Vanderson Beyond Time Structure
Open Mind
Open Heart
Open Taste
Open Touch
Open Breath
Open Ears
Open Eyes
Envisions…God in Everything
Open feet
Balances…from evil
Open Hands
Open Souls
Unites…in immortal fields
Senses Beyond time
to have faith in the
divine sanity of mind
Note: I awoke with these thoughts in beats.


I can’t sleep
I don’t even know you
but I’m missing you
Is it that I wrestle with your demons
or is it that I am turning them out
did they bite me on the lip
bump into my hip
blunt me something pure
not sure what is hidden there
I watch play out
and I allow myself to feel it
not afraid of a little animosity
not that, That is what I want
far from it this unrest
welling in and out of me
like a wave of bliss
a tranquility I think is there
is it just a flight of fancy
wafting over me
taking me into places
thinking things
that may mean nothing
simply nothing
but I know that is not true
it was a moment of bliss
that will not let me go
but unto it
I toss to and fro
back to rest I need to go
for a long 21 years it has been
to be in the safety of a nest
yet in my father’s blood
I have always been
but to the winds
he’s seen me flail
in and out of heart it seems
yet always in the palm of his hand
I cannot live with this invisibility
I must step from its shadows
to recapture simplicity
the depths of the complexities
I have walked every avenue
and now
I shall leave these streets
and find myself
back on the ground
yet always mindful
it is not for frivolities
for something sacred and true
the lessons not unlearned
no matter the cost
all is not lost
the past is not my future
my grace
is the smile upon my face
to find
I’ll weave this tale soon to a close
and let new horizons take their place
with every gift you’ve given me
I have to give
to rest this legacy
buried in this chest…


twin flames
I’ve sat by the holy wells in silence
drinking in your healing waters…
the rivers that bring peace to the free…
as I sat in your divinity,
the message that now runs through me…
and I am sorry I could not be
all that you wanted me to be,
but maybe it was meant
that this was who I am meant to be…
and perchance it is all well with our soul…
the lessons must go on….
through oration one to another….
and how could that be
if it were not this way,
as suffering often aids the lesson
to be learned….
the message I surrendered to…
not to the prophet….
for the message is greater
than the man who speaks it.
I seek the divine in hearts
thanks to your message….
I now carry within me.
Hearts speaking
in the unspoken field…
woven in divinity…
gravity bound in love,
no matter the space and time…
I know if I call you’ll be there,
as will I.
Maybe one day
as you foretold
when I see my way
towards hell
I’ll be screaming your name
yet I have a feeling
you’ll be there
my twin flame…
either to rescue me
or perchance for
me to come
and rescue you…
(In remembrance of the one who taught me about the path of love…oh how I miss certain elements of those conversations, yet to sit for years in submission at the well of contemplation…to be chided to surrender to a self proclaimed prophet…I cannot bring myself to do, but to the message, I surrendered long ago…before we ever met….for I knew there is no fear in love, and when you love there is nothing to fear, not even hell.)

Flowers Mark the Place

flowers mark the place
Collecting flowers
in the mists of the morning sun…
collecting fragments of bone, and shell…
woven together a bouquet
so simple in its beauty,
the flowers
little did I know
would be placed
upon the grave
of you and me…
by my choice
of mind to come…
unless one day
the flowers will mark the way
to resurrect
the love
we once touched upon
in another place,
not here
where temptations line time…
threaded through
trapped and ensnared…
awaiting for the light
to shine and burn
through the oceans in our hearts…
that keep us separated,
fallen and torn from grace.
I walk on…
and leave my foot prints
in their proper place.
Once upon a dream
in a midnight’s summer embrace….
I saw your face…
and had to leave you
at the cross of your disgrace..
as I faded away
back into the chambers
where sleep is divine,
and not filled with that not of light.
The night of dreams began within the lens of the Milky Way reflected
Drawn out on pages as birds took flight and united near firing turrets of the past
left nearby the dream unwound, flowers painted on the ground
Nothing but the fog lingering around

In White

In White
If you could see what I see
within the pain of a broken heart
there is a shell to be cracked wide open
to let out all the negativity of forces planted there
an open heart soon discovers how
to sift through hearts to find the light
and how to help others turn it back on
I had been so enraptured in an ordeal
that left me bare, stripped to the bone
when I ventured into your graces
I did not know if I could recover
yet to open eyes to sit in stillness and take it all in
I saw from your point of view a snippet here and there
I saw a wounded spirit take aim at company
to set their hearts to not disgrace
the sanctity of your space
things said here and there
made me see there was something more inside
a troubled heart in need of love
searching high and low
[Do our parents really fuck us up
and cause troubles to fester in our hearts
that prevent us from opening ours to others
for me, I think I made peace
and it seems you’re in reconciliation progress yourself]
Yet, he could rarely meet my gaze
it made me wonder why
what is there behind those eyes
he does not want me to see
a child at heart, a boy at play
a man searching but not finding
I so much wanted to open his heart
to see what I could discover there
a shiny object flashed his way
and off into the sun I was set to be on my way
In honor I had no choice
but to leave and contemplate
it was so overwhelming as I had tried
to be free, and open
yet in disclosure I made a few blunders
even though I was still thankful for the adventures
for I was on the brink of a cliff
and from its ledge I turned away
yet back into oneness with myself I sat
to be alone for months waiting
wondering if I should stay alone
for where is a divine man
who has principles of spirit at heart
not one stuck in religious ceremony full of pomp and circumstance
but a simple man born to protect
that which he loves
to let no vile
enter there within
by grace to live by
I came again and saw your face
you standing there in white
a light of purity did shine
and mesmerized my sights
that moment you looked over at me
and your eyes I did see
captured in the moment
flashback in my mind
I melt into despair
for now you are not here
can you feel my angst, as I sit to write these thoughts
to know you would not give to me
that which I needed to be free
I was there next to you
and by your chest is where I found myself
carried there by passions
I pulled away
and here I stand
naked and bare
yet covered in principals
to guide and guard my heart…
In white, I saw your light…

Radiant Heart

radian heart 1

It can be so hard to explain the spiritual

to those who have not experienced the energy of love light up in every cell

Many claim they want to be spiritual, yet know not what to do

To walk that life one must choose to look for spirit

Pick up those lenses to see the light in others

and surely you will have light begin to enter your every cell

its the flame meant to penetrate the heart

I tend to think

to understand one whom is truly spiritual

one must realize through looking at life through the eyes of the spirit

over time each cell resonates so in tune

to such a one their heart beats true…by the very truth it seeks

so that when such a one sees those who suffer

and in want

the heart it feels the suffering for spirit sees it too…

where every cell will resonate with wondering what to do…

in offering of common shared experience

to light the needs of the heart

to find the wavelengths there and how to survive those tides…

Yet some they wade in the shallow distance of the flame

and into the heights they can not see from depths

their lenses left upon the shore…

spirits still clinging to their sleep

Walk gently there and tread no more

if they fail to wake

speak to them in silent prayers

and radiate love for them to find

life is but a dream we make

and if the seed planted was true

it shall become no more a dream

Through light I see

what others fail to see

those who know not of spirituality




Some they know not…what they do not know…

Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his clothing, and cast lots.


Those who are spiritually asleep often know not what they do, do not be discouraged by them, and to those who are spiritually awake, it is as though the spiritual mind penetrates every cell with a divine resonance of an electric energy of sorts…where often one just has to let their heart be radiant, and give love away where ever they go, send it forth into the ions of the ether…if that makes any sense at all…stay grounded in one’s truth, yet hope the lost will be bathed in love and one day open their eyes to see it all around. (you know the creative imagination… to breathe in and filter negativity and breathe out love, it is a visualization….maybe there is something to it, but more importantly it reminds the one visualizing this to be grounded in love, and if that alone is achieved, then perchance that is all that is needed.)


Interesting some researchers have mapped the neural circuits of spiritual experiences…and can actually induce spiritual experiences through attaching electrodes to the brain. They may observe it and artificially stimulate it, but will they ever come to understand, that there is the beauty within man to discover the electricity of his heart and how it has the capacity to affect every single cell. For the power of love is a light that shines throughout the entire body, and you can’t simulate that. Some may call such similar experiences a spiritual paresthesia of sorts. However, I tend to think by divine design when we happen to align our thoughts with the energy of divinity, we cannot help to feel the energy of that. Call it a higher vibratory frequency, or whatever you want to….it does exist, and can be tapped into…The only problem is….walking on water…was not meant for everyone. Remember John 14:6. It is about mastering self, and not aiming to master anyone else. Live by example with a radiant heart and that should be more than enough.


Not to mention how beautiful would it be if we all were focused on our breath to breathe out love, could there be a shift in energy surrounding us? Maybe, maybe not…yet one can dream and make life what they so choose to…think about it, when you have fallen in love, you felt invincible, and an ecstatic high….whether lasting or not…you felt it didn’t you? I have to laugh because it is said, love is a form of insanity, yet real love, is not, it is lasting…it is all around us….we just have to align ourselves with it. It is all about free choice.





Every day we must kick fear in the teeth
the voices whisper in our ear the sad lullaby that lulls us near death
whether it is an expectation that falls
or a dream that never appears tangible
we must face the ugliness we have become when we give in to listening to fear
For fear steals our hope, and always will sell us a bill of goods
so by faith no matter the turn of the page
without fear, love can be won
to accept what it is we are meant to see
When we no longer attach to our desires
is the moment we can truly savor what life has to offer
by being open to the moment
for just what it presents
We have a choice to live
like we’ve never lived before
imagine a life without fear
Where every breath taken in
is filtered where only love
is released
The solitude of awareness
that the stillness lies in wait…
We can be a mirror
and reflect what we see
see through eyes with selfless love
and surely you will begin to love
First you must choose to…
in everything you do…
therein is a secret…for the selfless eyes that look to see love
reflect love, and within radiate love, and give birth to fill the void…

Down Where I am Found

I’m falling
falling from life above
falling down like waves crashing down
Looking back at all the years
Just wondering when will it end
this cycle of tides
caught in a mid current loop
Wanting out from within this flesh of sin
Transparent mind in stillness
waits for what is imparted
for me to discover
My drive to write and
contemplate like a wave
constantly washing over me
from dreams to silly things
to musings deep within fantasy in between
always looking for my soul to uncover
somewhere between here and there
My cares they slip away
The sun sets another day
My life mounting so high
I cannot escape no matter
how I try
The failures and mistakes
encircle me, my own and that of others
enraptures my point of view
These lenses I see through I wonder
if they are mine to wear
What purpose is there
in this mental playground of sorts
Will I find my spirit there
I’m saddened at times
and in its midst I struggle
to be found and fine my journey home
to what nourishes me
Drench me not in pain, my life says
but how to wring it out is perplexing at times
A new breath, a new day often leads the way
What point is there going back into memory
How to shed it like a suit of armor
too heavy to carry with me
I think my time has come
to let it all go to be undone
Some how, some way, can it be so
to take reign and rise
from the depths of abandon
Set in stone long ago
crack it like an open tomb
to discover the a diamond
I’ve become
If….if…this were only true
what must I do
I ask myself
to discover you
Feel as though I need to walk out
of my life…and go to some place I am found

The Path

The Path
On a forest walk
down the pathways of the mind
Those little sprites
and all their sparkly lights
Amidst the forest
I took shade there
watching rainbows
dancing on the leaves
yet on the planks
where I have kneeled
a monster did appear
The Jabberwocky’s devouring grip
for being seen I had to walk away
A heart on fire
faces truth
as it exclaims
I want more
for this trespass in the woods
my heart enmeshed
and now its torn
and spread out to
the universe
where I am born
once more
Another stake plunged in to me
I’ve removed the
wound agape
your disgrace
The jester always
prances like a suit
played for the crowns
The deck of cards
played the fool
for nothing more
than appetites
that feast
on light
back into the shadows
they retreat
banished the eyes
that penetrated far too deep
Be Gone for my soul
is not yours to keep
Your mayhem is your message
to fairy tale hearts like mine
to heed
Go back and go no further
Ahead there lies
a den of thieves
Pull yourself from this path to walk
The echo of truth shall remain
and if it be divine will
lives will be saved
Back into the safety
of my Master’s hand
who plays my heart
for my soul to claim
There will be no more
dancing in the dark with you
My heart
Soul to
Sends me down a different path