In White

In White
If you could see what I see
within the pain of a broken heart
there is a shell to be cracked wide open
to let out all the negativity of forces planted there
an open heart soon discovers how
to sift through hearts to find the light
and how to help others turn it back on
I had been so enraptured in an ordeal
that left me bare, stripped to the bone
when I ventured into your graces
I did not know if I could recover
yet to open eyes to sit in stillness and take it all in
I saw from your point of view a snippet here and there
I saw a wounded spirit take aim at company
to set their hearts to not disgrace
the sanctity of your space
things said here and there
made me see there was something more inside
a troubled heart in need of love
searching high and low
[Do our parents really fuck us up
and cause troubles to fester in our hearts
that prevent us from opening ours to others
for me, I think I made peace
and it seems you’re in reconciliation progress yourself]
Yet, he could rarely meet my gaze
it made me wonder why
what is there behind those eyes
he does not want me to see
a child at heart, a boy at play
a man searching but not finding
I so much wanted to open his heart
to see what I could discover there
a shiny object flashed his way
and off into the sun I was set to be on my way
In honor I had no choice
but to leave and contemplate
it was so overwhelming as I had tried
to be free, and open
yet in disclosure I made a few blunders
even though I was still thankful for the adventures
for I was on the brink of a cliff
and from its ledge I turned away
yet back into oneness with myself I sat
to be alone for months waiting
wondering if I should stay alone
for where is a divine man
who has principles of spirit at heart
not one stuck in religious ceremony full of pomp and circumstance
but a simple man born to protect
that which he loves
to let no vile
enter there within
by grace to live by
I came again and saw your face
you standing there in white
a light of purity did shine
and mesmerized my sights
that moment you looked over at me
and your eyes I did see
captured in the moment
flashback in my mind
I melt into despair
for now you are not here
can you feel my angst, as I sit to write these thoughts
to know you would not give to me
that which I needed to be free
I was there next to you
and by your chest is where I found myself
carried there by passions
I pulled away
and here I stand
naked and bare
yet covered in principals
to guide and guard my heart…
In white, I saw your light…

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