Month: December 2017

Booty Call

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booty call
I awake
I am hungry
Feed me love,
nor feed me at all…
I fell asleep
After you left
Did not mean to push you away
just had to say
Feed me love, or don’t feed me at all…
it is too difficult
to fathom your intentions with me
when in the past
my affections were toyed with
the love I gave forsaken
as you walked countless times out my door
shall I sit and await the day you do that again to me
I think not
could I stand to waste away again
shedding tears, and weight
throwing me aside
cast into despair
my love so blind
like a laser light
severing me into pieces
destroying my will to stand
yet lying next to my heart
fallen on the ground
through time and contemplation
is it better to have loved and lost
than to not loved at all
I think not
for to love and be consumed
all the while forgot
is a place
where nothing exists
and all has been laid to waste
Feed me love,
nor feed me at all…
for that is what sustains me
and nothing else shall do…
it is what I return to
whether isolated or not
to bring forth love in actions
to give light to my soul
and find my way
for to stand next to me
is to see my love
and nothing else
for if that you fail to see
how can we be sustained
within the treasure
we once did find
to me it meant something
more than a booty call…
you left countless times
to win
and did you win your soul
and find your truths
amidst those quests
you ventured on
as holes in my wall
were left
and the pit of my stomach
was removed
to be so gut wrenched
and left barren of the gifts I gave
alone in separation
with nothing save
my soul
to find me
and deliver me…
I am a treasure
to be valued
yet the booty of the world
so easily led you astray…
all the while you tossed the
ruby into the sea…
to find it now
you’ll have to dive deep…
and feed me love,
nor feed me at all…
11/12/2017
Take the spoils of war
but please save me…
for I fight for love
or nothing at all…

Trivial Pursuits

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Trivial Pursuits
Why call me
Is it that you are bored
or have you run out of romances to court
Is the isolation driving you insane
or is it that you now see
the light that shines inside of me
is truth resounding in your heart
as you face your day to day dilemmas
like a ringing in your ears that won’t go away
it has been buried there within your chest all along
is the intellect taking note
Why should I talk to you
when communication is always so one sided
and I have to prick so hard at your heart
to be a decent man to me
I gave you something raw and true
maybe that is the echo you hear
for last I called to provide clarity
there was no voice
to offer me
and now you think I should take your call
I have no time for trivial pursuits
nor to have my heart, and mind toyed with
to comfort your space
to be dismissed
and trivialized
when you feel my time
spent with you is due over
I seek a kindred spirit
and found it not with you
for you could not even give
me safety in your arms
yet my hands
you wanted all over you
I’m a child of God
not your fill in when
your ego needs a fix
I could have been the one
had I been treated with respect
to have shown you
life from a point of bliss
yet I take it now
with me
and save it for the one
who knows my name
and writes it in his heart
and shelters me from brutes like you…
who stomp all over
open discourse
shutting down my mind
and ultimately closing off my heart
Kind a sad too…a bit frustrating…but the truth is
some just need a fair weather friend…but not me
I am not interested in such shallow strings
for I shall not be tempted to want something
and then be dismissed and keep my head in that space
I learned long ago, to not want what I cannot have…
and to definitely walk away
when I see
no care for me
Time for me to move ahead
and you can roll again
but not with me
my fair weather friend
11/10/2017

A Journey of a Thousand Seas

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Die-Geburt-der-Venus
I won’t say I didn’t cry
and that I did not try
For when it comes to this life
a connection is something I think we all tend to seek
For some it is with themselves
and for others it is with another
And for some it should be with themselves first
before pulling another under tow
Some times those we need most
are the ones we try to rescue
when in the end it is
us ourselves we need to save
If it were easy
life would be bliss
yet like they say the journey
begins with a discovery of thy self
Too many see what others have
and try to jump in their boat
when they should be sailing
the seas they have created
where within their boat
the world is void
of things not of the soul
for in the end
that is all
we’ve got
11/2/2017

Appointment in Samarra

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AppointmentinSumarra

Once there was a wealthy merchant in Baghdad who had a servant that he liked very much. This servant came to him one day pale and trembling, and the merchant said, “Whatever is the matter?”

“Master,” said the servant, “I saw Death in the market today, and he pointed at me. I am sure that my time has come, but I think I can outrun him. He seems a bit rickety. Please, master, give me a fine horse and the money to go to Samarra tonight, and maybe I can evade Death. I beg you, for the sake of all I have ever done for you.”

The merchant said, “Of course. Take my best horse,” and he outfitted the servant with fine clothes and food besides. He saw the servant off from the gates of Baghdad. Then, as he was returning through the city, he ran into Death at the market.

“My good fellow,” said the merchant sternly, “why did you point at my servant this morning? You scared him.”

“Oh,” said Death contritely, “I’m quite sorry. I didn’t mean to point at him — I was simply confused, and I was trying to make sure that I still see straight with these old eyes. It’s just that I was surprised to run into your servant here today, for I have an appointment in Samarra with him tonight.”

 

There are many versions of this fable. It’s an old Middle Eastern tale, retold as one of the The Thousand Nights And A Night, and it could be even older than that frame.

The moral of the story is, when your time is due, you cannot outrun death, for death will be waiting to meet you wherever you run.

 

Note: My mentor in spiritual matters first told me a similar account of this story…as he chided me….make decisions while living for when death comes it will be too late. The moral being you cannot escape death, when your time is up the Grim Reaper will find you no matter where you run.

Points of Sin Hung on a Nail

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oculus_divina
                                                                                                                         Artist: Carlos Quevedo
A smile a glance, and he remembered my name
A look, a glimmer, and he held my hand
A touch to melt my defenses
A fast ride no promises made
A glimpse beyond
Before then was he who stole my dreams
And the rest, it would seem were a waste of time
and the love it seems slips away
The preacher man says repent my friend
On your knees in submission
Salvation is at hand
A marriage destroyed by addiction and sociopathic demise
A love in circles written in the sand as prayers were played out to sea as the currents drowned the drinking man
A social awkward appeasing to please, yet quavering in my time of need, too insecure within him-self to leave
A disordered mind seeking something he lost, ignoring all the while its cost
A spoiled child tossed to and fro by his own delusions to be there for those in need yet to himself he bleeds wounding others needlessly
A master who turns the world upside down to right actions in a plight to fight human frailty tirelessly
A marriage destroyed by infidelity and lies severing and devouring flesh
Yet within these trials, the faces, and hearts seen for the surface and what was hidden beneath
Through eyes of love, so torn by all witnessed
Nail me on a cross
Next to these animosities that kill
The spirits within the manifest deed doers
Did I play the fool for love
And risk it all time and time again
The blood in my pores
Seeking absolution
For my own misdeeds
I chose to love
Encompassed in my infirmities
Striving to find the light
And climb from the pits of darkness
I created as I dove into the abyss
Timeless times to peer
Upon things retrospect
Taking my lessons
And trying to help others
Hoping they would help me too
Find my oneness and my path home to good
To be rescued in the rescuing of ourselves
Sharing lessons to forge new paths forward
Yet, here I sit and wonder
Was it ever meant to be this way
Or was I hoping to find myself by choosing to get lost amidst the backdrop
Of life, vicarious awareness to empathize
All in hopes to be understood by offering trust and compassion
Laid out at the feet of servitude in desire to become one in the sight of my Lord
What did I become in all this
Am I left barren of recompense
In my aims to be born again
A murderer to my left, and a thief to my right, and somewhere in between a drunk, a drug addict, a pedophile, a dope dealer, and lest time not forget a healer of sorts running with the wind along with zombie fans who held out the branch I dared to walk out upon and when it broke the sage who came and gave me his wings to ride upon, yet to no man I surrender
To none but to all to be a servant of my Lord
In hopes I heard and heeded the call
To be a light
Yet where shall I find the way to venture forth
For now it seems I am alone…
Lest true love find its way back to me…to carry me home
To the heart of love
And across the threshold
Of a thousand gates
Where millions have dare not tread
For thine eye be single
And full of light
To pull us out of this Earthly plight
Entrenched in experience, observing it all play out, prostrate in my own flesh torn
Blood seeping through sweat in pain to wish forgiveness
A desire for a life of innocence
Where past misdeeds are washed away
And eyes are opened
The slumber over
To be awakened and quickened
To go and sin no more
My life, the lives I’ve witnessed and the blood and tears shed
And the travesties revealed by actions unraveled from their unconscious and jaded, and mired thoughts
To seek truth, and become to a place of full accountability
To become whole and pure turning away from all impurity
To turn face and build a new temple
For the soul to reside
Free from afflictions
And enticements and enchantments meant to devastate and desolate and snuff out the fire of this life imprinted within our creation born of ourselves created for us to choose by forces beyond our worldly eyes and comprehension
To discover mysteries divine all in good time outside of time
To snap back in rhythm and dance in the waves of heaven’s celestial eternal dance
Create a new matrix before the matrix creates a new you
So different you don’t recognize yourself before your time is due
A strategy to step outside back to inside before a pawn forever more you shall remain to be
The chance to be given not lost to life’s circumstance
To discover this gift of grace
And find the meaning of what needs it has is key
To end suffering, contention and strife
Angelic harps resound
When a soul is found
Within this seamless trap
yet a maze of sorts
An escape line lying in wait
The path is narrow
But like a needle in a haystack
It is you, you must find
To no longer spin gold for this world
                                                    But to weave gold for one’s self                    One must find not the magic in the word Rumplestilskin, (but in)
The son he gave to us and as such he gave us himself
                                                       His son pierced with our sins
To find the way
The truth shall set you free
                                                        The mysteries in the divine                                                                Written in the Word
So few face the truth
So few have the eyes of the heart to see
Turn not your back on thee
Close the doorway to demise
Seek the gate
Guard thy loins with faith
And be not afflicted
In your suffering but be chastened to turn away from hate
For it is a disease that will poison everything you do
For where there is fear love cannot be
Let no man tear you asunder from the wisdom of the Lord
Let no man be his own worst enemy
Denying the truth he must face
Sins pierced and hung on nails we all bleed
10/18/2017
❤
Do it with Love, nor do it at all.
Drops of blood I breathe and drop,
no Saint I am, thorns out laid
My deeds made manifest
let the light scorch out my sins
& all the pain I’ve caused
Nail me on a cross
My life
My sacrifice

The Eyes of Your Audience

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Dick man
Like a little boy
with his dick in his hand
yet when the man in him seeks to belong
and wonders what went wrong
and why he does not have what he secretly longs for
he gets caught up in the past
he keeps running to it
a runner he is
until he learns to communicate with himself
never will he be free from the chains of his puberty
how shall he ever find love
when the boy within is stuck dreaming of porno stars
Genuine woman see through this maze
and some will try to rescue
the boy within the man
yet when in mid life crisis
the man cannot see the nature of his demise
is pushing all his dreams away
as he wonders why no one cares
its not that they did not care
they just needed a man
led by his heart
and not his dick
so he keeps on until one day
maybe he’ll discover his heart
somewhere under the sheets
of all the lives he tossed away
as the tears of reality sink in
and begin to wash his ego clean
to open his eyes
to a different light of day
to discover the path
to hearts
but first he must
pull his from the grave
if the boy is strong enough
to become a man
otherwise in the end
he’ll find nothing more
than an empty bed
and pillow
for his (dick) head to lay
that led the way…
into the travesties of
his own gluttony and vice
and he’ll keep wondering
why no one sees his heart…
until his dying breath
alone in isolation
he casts back
and it will be too late
For the fears and ego will have run his race for him
for he never became strong enough to cut ties
from the fears that kept him from
seeking the truth
of understanding…the nature of the pain
he never healed
that he alone
as a man perpetuated
when given a choice
to become a man
and stand on his own
aside from family trauma
yet the drama he now creates
as editor and director in chief of the narrative he writes…
can he not see what his audience sees
its written in his actions
he just seems to be devoid of witnessing
perchance he will choose one day
to remove the dick from upon his head
and replace it with his heart
11/1/2017
(Like the picture, too many men in solidarity with their dick end up in a solitary confinement they alone created.)
Note: I had to laugh when I stumbled upon this picture…I am not a man hater, quite the contrary, but this individual one day did something, and said later he was sorry for acting like a dick. Unfortunately, his buttons get pushed too easily. Unfortunately, he had a tough upbringing that causes him strife quite often.

The Grave She Digs

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highgate cemetery
She wears the darkness upon
her eyes so well
An evil melancholy
a malevolent
play
all along
The guise to care
The apple shared
the bond
unified now tied
She enslaved herself
all for money
Paraded as Love
What a trip she stumbles
and falls so
willingly into the pit
of stolen lives
and the clock
shall not stop
when his eyes finally
close
She can pretend to be
the saint she’s not
The crosses behind her paint the portrait she
awaits for the
cemetery and the grave
her own she digs
10/22/17

Running Free

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cross and heart in sand
We were running free and wild in the wind
Salt and sea
When you carried me in the waves
Singing and skipping openly along the shore
On my knees covered in sand
just like an animal wagging its tail for you
So uninhibited and without shame
You my Adam and I your Eve
Frolicking in the Sun
Treading on Sacred Ground
Staff in hand and prayers and circles in the sand
and at the center is the Cross
That unites our hearts
beyond the scope of time
we unwind and come back upon
the silver threads that bind souls and divine minds as one
Never do we walk alone
When the pirate took my hand and said
Come and walk with me
and in his graces he covered me in love
Something so raw and pure
no man can touch
the synchronicity of un-corruption
when we played
laughed
and danced
Running wild and free
a love untamed
written in the sands of time
My shelter from the storm
reciting poetry
as minstrels in the sky
on the hill of our destiny
Talking to Angels You and I
Sweetening time as Heaven surrounds and calls us
beckoning us to not falter
but to come home
what may be for you and me
Songs written await
The visitation
when we meet again
as all veils are removed
and the light
synergizes us
❤
10/22/17
7 days a seed of faith shared

Dedicated to (my name)

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Bell Cave
She glides over the ground like the
hawk in flight
Her face gives off a soft glorious light
Her eyes shine like diamonds in a ring
Her presence causes all hearts to sing
Such a young girl yet a woman is she
A wonder whose glory caresses me
Lips of ruby red, hands as soft as a doe
Causing my heart to cry out in woe
Gentile as the summer breeze on a sunny day
This girl can always get her own way
Blessings and love flow unto thee
Dream of love who art made into reality
Signed: The Wayfarer
Note: Between the ages of 13-15 I played arcade games at a particular place. One day this young man, a stranger to me who was often in the crowd, handed me a piece of paper with this written on it, in dedication to me. The first poem ever written to me, and quite frankly to this point in time, the only one to any length of this kind.  *The cave has something to do with my name.

Time

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stairs
Through time we grow to find ourselves.
Time is the essence of our future.
There is so much time at hand, yet if we don’t grasp it, it fades away.
Many times in our lives, we lose track of time; I believe everyone has had experiences in their life that cannot be recalled.
I believe we all remember experiences that have had a great impact on our lives.
We fail to realize there are many experiences we don’t recall that have contributed to our subconscious behavior.
Why do we let time slip away, when there is so much question to how much time we all have left?
I truly believe by analyzing our time and learning to utilize the time that has passed and the time that is ahead of us, we can shape and control our future destiny.
I believe by conditioning ourselves to the importance of the essence of time, we shall come to find the importance of time in our lives which would allow us to be able to find our true selves.
Written at 21 (1983) Contemplating time…
Thoughts now: our time here in this plane is just a drop in the bucket as compared to eternity. In the evolution of our soul, our existence here will seem like seconds according to the sages. Are we not here to discover where we came from and what our purpose is here in this life in order to navigate the course of our evolutionary journey (perchance a path home to our soul)?