Points of Sin Hung on a Nail

                                                                                                                         Artist: Carlos Quevedo
A smile a glance, and he remembered my name
A look, a glimmer, and he held my hand
A touch to melt my defenses
A fast ride no promises made
A glimpse beyond
Before then was he who stole my dreams
And the rest, it would seem were a waste of time
and the love it seems slips away
The preacher man says repent my friend
On your knees in submission
Salvation is at hand
A marriage destroyed by addiction and sociopathic demise
A love in circles written in the sand as prayers were played out to sea as the currents drowned the drinking man
A social awkward appeasing to please, yet quavering in my time of need, too insecure within him-self to leave
A disordered mind seeking something he lost, ignoring all the while its cost
A spoiled child tossed to and fro by his own delusions to be there for those in need yet to himself he bleeds wounding others needlessly
A master who turns the world upside down to right actions in a plight to fight human frailty tirelessly
A marriage destroyed by infidelity and lies severing and devouring flesh
Yet within these trials, the faces, and hearts seen for the surface and what was hidden beneath
Through eyes of love, so torn by all witnessed
Nail me on a cross
Next to these animosities that kill
The spirits within the manifest deed doers
Did I play the fool for love
And risk it all time and time again
The blood in my pores
Seeking absolution
For my own misdeeds
I chose to love
Encompassed in my infirmities
Striving to find the light
And climb from the pits of darkness
I created as I dove into the abyss
Timeless times to peer
Upon things retrospect
Taking my lessons
And trying to help others
Hoping they would help me too
Find my oneness and my path home to good
To be rescued in the rescuing of ourselves
Sharing lessons to forge new paths forward
Yet, here I sit and wonder
Was it ever meant to be this way
Or was I hoping to find myself by choosing to get lost amidst the backdrop
Of life, vicarious awareness to empathize
All in hopes to be understood by offering trust and compassion
Laid out at the feet of servitude in desire to become one in the sight of my Lord
What did I become in all this
Am I left barren of recompense
In my aims to be born again
A murderer to my left, and a thief to my right, and somewhere in between a drunk, a drug addict, a pedophile, a dope dealer, and lest time not forget a healer of sorts running with the wind along with zombie fans who held out the branch I dared to walk out upon and when it broke the sage who came and gave me his wings to ride upon, yet to no man I surrender
To none but to all to be a servant of my Lord
In hopes I heard and heeded the call
To be a light
Yet where shall I find the way to venture forth
For now it seems I am alone…
Lest true love find its way back to me…to carry me home
To the heart of love
And across the threshold
Of a thousand gates
Where millions have dare not tread
For thine eye be single
And full of light
To pull us out of this Earthly plight
Entrenched in experience, observing it all play out, prostrate in my own flesh torn
Blood seeping through sweat in pain to wish forgiveness
A desire for a life of innocence
Where past misdeeds are washed away
And eyes are opened
The slumber over
To be awakened and quickened
To go and sin no more
My life, the lives I’ve witnessed and the blood and tears shed
And the travesties revealed by actions unraveled from their unconscious and jaded, and mired thoughts
To seek truth, and become to a place of full accountability
To become whole and pure turning away from all impurity
To turn face and build a new temple
For the soul to reside
Free from afflictions
And enticements and enchantments meant to devastate and desolate and snuff out the fire of this life imprinted within our creation born of ourselves created for us to choose by forces beyond our worldly eyes and comprehension
To discover mysteries divine all in good time outside of time
To snap back in rhythm and dance in the waves of heaven’s celestial eternal dance
Create a new matrix before the matrix creates a new you
So different you don’t recognize yourself before your time is due
A strategy to step outside back to inside before a pawn forever more you shall remain to be
The chance to be given not lost to life’s circumstance
To discover this gift of grace
And find the meaning of what needs it has is key
To end suffering, contention and strife
Angelic harps resound
When a soul is found
Within this seamless trap
yet a maze of sorts
An escape line lying in wait
The path is narrow
But like a needle in a haystack
It is you, you must find
To no longer spin gold for this world
                                                    But to weave gold for one’s self                    One must find not the magic in the word Rumplestilskin, (but in)
The son he gave to us and as such he gave us himself
                                                       His son pierced with our sins
To find the way
The truth shall set you free
                                                        The mysteries in the divine                                                                Written in the Word
So few face the truth
So few have the eyes of the heart to see
Turn not your back on thee
Close the doorway to demise
Seek the gate
Guard thy loins with faith
And be not afflicted
In your suffering but be chastened to turn away from hate
For it is a disease that will poison everything you do
For where there is fear love cannot be
Let no man tear you asunder from the wisdom of the Lord
Let no man be his own worst enemy
Denying the truth he must face
Sins pierced and hung on nails we all bleed
Do it with Love, nor do it at all.
Drops of blood I breathe and drop,
no Saint I am, thorns out laid
My deeds made manifest
let the light scorch out my sins
& all the pain I’ve caused
Nail me on a cross
My life
My sacrifice

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