In Search of Eden


Is it possible to return to Eden? Of course in metaphor, yet in actions what would it take to return to a state of harmony? There is so much discord all around. We have moral compass points some follow, and for some they are outright immoral in their actions bobbing along never fully cognizant of charting their course through life, or worse yet choosing a nefarious path, come what may. Then it seems we have so many who get caught in a view that is amoral, not choosing to assign any path to a right or wrong way of being.

Will morality point us in the proper direction to find states of harmony, and could the compass points of morality embody the way of truth that could entice the human mind to follow in the direction of human accord in conscious thoughts and ways of being, given even within spiritual doctrines, many espouse the divisions and perpetuate hate? It really is a moral dilemma to contemplate. The amoral individual often finds oneself in a state of nihilism retreating from cause and effect, yet still affected by it no matter the cognitive rejection or perchance denial of such. The immoral individual is a beast unto itself, and their acts unfortunately have great capacity to sow seeds of discord and damage and destroy any chance of harmony in the lives they influence and impact.


What would it take for us to all be of one mind, a unified mind to create, and perpetuate actions that lead to harmony and accord in the conditions manifested in this life? Certainly philosophers, and theosophists have been seeking these answers for centuries. Are the answers found within the 10 simple and basic commandments, that all have broken? There is an irony to evaluate them for their simplicity in coming to understand the complexity within them, as all have failed to live them all, in their actions. Inherit in their directive is a tragedy to realize we all fall short, and perchance that is why so many just put them away from contemplation. Does it take on a turn of karma to be mindful of? Does being cognizant of karma spur us to accept a notion to be careful what we do in general in order to assist us to consciously choose to do no harm? Are we not even reminded in karma to be fearful of actions that may come back to visit us? Is it in the notion of a Zen like state we should aspire to rise above the conditions of the world in hopes to derive into an ascended way of being? In Crossing the Threshold of Hope, even John Paul II stated that some beliefs espouse the world as negative but not one to necessarily transcend in hopes to be removed from evil but one to be saved from through accepting Christianity, and in that process the world is not a bad or evil place to have to seek ascension from. Is practicing the golden rule the way to bliss? When all around us we have so many divisive energies and minds and all manner of intellects screaming to be heard; it is so hard to know at times which way to turn and which voices to heed in this sojourn here on Earth while we all inhabit the dross of the flesh that has its needs.

Does our spirit go inward, and find the silence of our heart to listen to its direction? Yet, if a heart is ensnared in amorality or immorality or duplicitous morality , what good would that do such individuals who are somehow devoid of combining the heart and intellect in one accord to seek peace, and harmony, and seek to offer that in all their dealings? Where is the poison to our spirits in this world coming from? Is it within us these poisons exist all along, and our charge in life is to learn to recognize and extract them from ourselves, or is it something external we have the capacity to draw into us at any given point in time, and by default allow them to direct our motives? Is there an age of reason where individuals must wrestle with the choices before themselves, and learn to discern how to think, and operate in the energy manifestations they put forth and align with to take responsibility for?

Can we ever return to a garden where all our mind, body and spirit needs can be met? Did we lose it forever, as is suggested in Paradise Lost by John Milton? Is this a place that never can exist again? I tend to think there has to be a conscious way of being that employs a universal wisdom and standard of knowing and awareness to help us all come to understand certain actions will lead to consequences where the outcome of our acts will lead us either into discord or lead us into accord. Not to get mired in a duality, for a divided mind is an unstable mind, yet to recognize, when we err to make amends to change course to make conscious choices in hopes to create an Eden in our lives. Is it really up to us to either make a Heaven or a Hell out of our affairs, and our conditions in this life? Of course we do not live in a vacuum, and others have the capacity to affect us, yet what must humanity do at an individual and collective level, to raise the bar of intellect to get people to become conscious of their contributions to the whole of the sociological relations affecting us all?

For me I tend to think I do not want to be unequally yoked to those who follow immoral and amoral compass points, as well as those caught up defending  a false morality of sorts that creates contentions and strife. It seems to me the immoral and the amoral make good bedfellows, yet the truly moral minded in purity of thought with either the amoral or immoral will suffer discontent. For where there is amorality and immorality that tends to be all that is left ultimately in the wake of those actions, a suffering and discontent where disharmonious conditions are dynamically in flux and self generating as a result. Certainly to know that can be the impetus to avoid such ways of being, yet why do so many not see this, and continue to act in amoral and immoral ways?

Is there merit in raising our awareness at an individual level in hopes to raise the collective consciousness not only to be found within ourselves but as an aim to impart an enlightened way of being to those all around us? Could harmony be found in elevated ways within those whose connections between heart and mind drive their intellect? Do individuals resonate with the energies they create and manifest, and if so, how does that shape the energy around them and that they send out into the quantum fields around us all? After all our thoughts are electric and magnetic, are they not?

I think it may be possible to resonate at such a high frequency where harmony and accord can be achieved. Perchance a message inherit in spiritual directives to seek to be in divine accord would by default raise the vibratory consciousness to see things at an enlightened level of awareness. I also tend to think the more waves of this energy manifested, at a quantum level, it is radiated outward from the source, all the while being in source. I think in some respects part of the collective consciousness is a constructive wave interference where harmony abounds, and perchance within such a state glimpses of  Eden can be found. For the source of this energy can be found within us all and all around us, and maybe it just takes a conscious effort for us to develop a connection with the divine source within us, in order for us to be found within the realm where divine source exists all around. Could we raise our energy and vibratory frequencies to come in sync with the divine supernatural waves immortal and eternal found all around, and could this journey lead us to be found within the garden gates?


Just thoughts today….1/13/2018

Note: I told a friend the other day I think I’d rather be an Edenist than a Hedonist, as I was trying to get them to think about their past hedonist ways and consequences of those ways that manifested in their life by encouraging them to introspect and to reflect. I’m making up words again in the use of the term that came to mind to be called Edenist!

Another related piece: Hedonism


A Discourse on Anger

a earth angel

STUDENT: How do we not feel anger when we feel we have been treated unjust? Will there not be a consequence of shutting off that emotion?


SPIRITUALIST: Techniques to Avoid Anger

It all begins in thought (Single most powerful thing a human can do is think). Anger is not a natural state. Anger is a learned behavior. Stop practicing anger, distance yourself from it.

Accept it in your heart and in your head…that all your past experiences, were those that are and will continue to be a part of life. We all have differing sets of bad experiences including the ones that were practiced against us.


Now that we have survived it be grateful that you are left standing and did not die in the process…many have you know. You may be severely scarred and hurt, but you are at least standing…be grateful for it.


Forgive those trespasses as you seek forgiveness for your trespasses. Let the past go…


(STUDENT’S THOUGHT: Otherwise we perpetuate the destructive cycle)

It’s never the injustices that were practiced against you that matter as to WHO YOU BECOME. It is your ATTITUDE to those experiences that dictates as to who you are or will become.

If your attitude is ANGER to those sets of experiences, then that is what you have become and will indeed pass on your heritage keeping this shit alive for yet many generations…


(STUDENT’S THOUGHT: So, as you have said before, we must unlearn)


If your attitude is forgiveness as demonstrated by your ACTIONS OF NO ANGER, that is what you have gone on to become and will indeed pass on your heritage keeping this nobility alive for yet many generations…


That ought to be reason enough to practice No Anger…Lord knows there are enough people practicing anger on the other side of the fence….we need to populate some folks to counter balance this stuff…thinking, acceptance, and forgiveness of the past is essential, then also some of the techniques as I have taught you of breathing and being less judgmental, distrusting, and suspicious and more loving will also help a great deal…


Now there will be those who are practitioners of anger and will draw you out into their adrenaline jungle (jungle of misbehavior). Some of those people will be very close to you who cannot be avoided such as your family, ex husband…etc. Then there will be those with whom you can minimize your contact with, yet be around them.


I avoid people who tend to draw me into that jungle as I need to practice anger less and less. Now if they happen to be customers or acquaintances, I have shaped my work and life in manner to do that, as I am the architect of my circumstance.


I can talk, teach, show by example, then I have to withdraw as they are not ready for my lessons and it is indeed, “casting pearls before swine”, and I certainly don’t want to be in the company of negative emotion because I don’t want to wake up with fleas.


Sometimes people know what hot buttons of yours to press. If you find people deliberately doing that then it is time, to talk, to teach, and if they persist in not learning then it is time to find better company. The idea here is to find environments in which you will not have to practice anger, but if you are the one that keeps manufacturing anger at every step of the way, from a bad tennis back hand to driving on the highway, it may not be others who are doing this to you rather you doing this to others. Sooner or later your anger will leave you, this I can promise you. The question is, how much damage will you do to others and yourself in the mean time?

As in my example of a patient with a drinking problem, his only salvation is to STOP IT, JUST NOT DO IT. So it is with the practitioner of anger.


Breathing will help, counting to 10 will help, acceptance will help, thinking will help, when the sun comes up, it will help, when it rains too, it will help, but in the end…not reading bad books that legitimize anger will help, running, meditation, pumping iron, eating right and getting good sleep will help, watching TV will help, cleaning carpet will help, staying busy will help…but in the end…



Any book that teaches you otherwise is garbage. I AM DONE.


Well now you gotta practice it remember…intentions don’t mean a hill of beans. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

As K**du (a military instructor he had) said which I quoted him in my book and as I have written in my poetry…actually was taught by my teachers prior to K**du who re-affirmed it to me much later in life…




You have to develop it into a habit. Like anything else it takes practice, in your waking moments and in your sleep, at all times until it becomes a way of life.


(STUDENT’S THOUGHTS: PRAY & Meditate on this Every Morning & Night!)

Note on “unlearning”: We are born and come into this world where all the values, beliefs of our parents, caretakers and society start shaping us. At some point we come to an age of reason. Some will see their beliefs were shaped by systems and individuals that are flawed, and we must unlearn these things. I once eluded his actions and teachings to that of a brain washing, and he would reply, all humans need their brains washed cleaned in order to return to the purity of right thinking and actions, thereby taking personal responsibility to do so without blaming anyone else for who they are.

Are you Listening?


It is love that is the most important gift of all

To love abundantly is to banish fear

and when there is no fear, there is love

In opposition lies hate which writhes to abate,

so hard to resist,

spins deep despair

So heavy laden hearts near and far,

Remember Love does conquer all

Through Christ, God loves us all

Through the tears we learn to remove fear,

and learn to rejoice and experience joy

Not for ourselves, but for all

who seek peace and comfort in God

So may peace be a river to the free

Those free from the chains

the world enslaves us all to

Break the chains

No longer in bondage

for love transforms us all

All you have to do is open your heart

so true light may reach you

No more walking the fence

when you walk with God,

there’s no need to worry if you fall

For God’s love helps us to stand

and to grow tall

Can you hear Heaven’s Call?




Participating in 3 years of Bible Study influenced me to think and write on these matters.

A Reflection

temple of time

A reflection,

a mirror of a perception

embedded in the psyche

an image of roses in bloom

water rushing down a river

laughter on butterfly wings

dancing bodies in a trance

the taste of tears falling down

a child that cries

and is not heard

regains its strength of its own accord

the merging of souls in sex

by way of love shared

a fruit plate

delivered by room service

gazing out high rise hotel windows

in awe at the start of a new day

dancers tapping at night on Broadway

The cat in Memories that walked our way

The phantom’s song

singing within me

the grain and the wit

to accomplish and achieve

the bed that beckons me to linger

the masks that bare my shame

the guilt it tarnishes my heart

The purity that was once

that wants to shine

to overcome the pools that drown divinity

the time spent in service and charity

of motherhood, and wife

the times the stillness

reflects my soul

to be more in moments unaware of self

but to be be entrenched in the forest of my walk

speeding through light the breath sends me

to witness cosmic blend of light

that makes us all material

and reduces us all to spiritual droplets

of creative energetic forces

with the gravity of our magnetic resonance

the projection of a reflection of a life

into the realm of prana

evolving beyond duality

to spiral beyond its shadow

the mirror of its existence but to be

a facet of the many choices to reflect

in wholeness and completion

for the circle is a circle

no matter its place in the universe.


A Brief Discourse on the Heart


We teach our head all the time. How much time do we spend teaching our heart…anything? Don’t you think it is time? No wonder in this tug a war between head and heart, the head keeps winning after all it has had far too much attention and consequently has become the ruler of your actions sort of like a blind dictator who does not pay attention to any voice of reason.

Your heart has been providing a voice of reason for a long time, as I have written in my poetry it is time to listen to it, it will tell you when you are about to do the wrong thing. It has been overruled for such a long time that the voice of the heart has become barely audible. That is why the other night when you went and did your deeds, you said your inner voice did not warn you. It is time to pay attention to and follow the guidance of the voice of your heart a bit more until you bring proper balance between your heart and your head. Don’t make either a slave to the other.

My head told me never to see, or talk, or have anything to do with you after the many things that have come from you. My head told me there will only be more of it in the months and years to come after the very first episode, and thru subsequent episodes and my head has thus far been right….but….My head continues to chant, “Cut Your Losses…don’t waste any further energy or time. Are you not a fool, have you not learned anything yet?”. You will be Sooorry….but my heart speaks as well.

(A 21 year long dialogue still ensues…, it is all about removing ego, and fears, and surrendering)

Written as notes from a conversation 1996-2003