She could have been a bitch

After all I seduced her son

She found the evidence

we were young

 

She could have been a witch

when she found the matchbox full

for she knew what we did

yet sheltered us from the harm

 

She had every right to banish me

and slay me for my deeds

Yet she gave to me

my integrity

so that I could find my own culpability

 

The gift she gave to me

wisdom beyond measure

for she saw far beyond

what most could ever see

she did not beat me down like my mother

yet she loved me as a mother would

not kicking me when I was down

and erred

 

The experiences of youth

they come and go

and they stay with us forever

I remember the picture passed around

it brought me sadness and pain

for my scars they shared

little did I know

it was the healing

that had begun

 

I came back after many years

to inquire if I had harmed anyone by my acts

her son said not

yet one adopted daughter I cannot help but wonder

who rarely speaks

so caught up in toil

she wears a fate she can not seem to shed

I have to ask if a switch back then clicked

and turned on the addiction

little do we know

the receptors we provoke

just like all the years

we burn

like cigarettes

they tarnish

each day a choice we make

 

She could have been a bitch

and sent me away

She could have made me wear my shame

but she protected me

She pulled me from a night of play

and made me look at my life

I saw my choices I had made

that night with her daughters

She may not have loved me

but her actions showed she did

 

For she gave to me the gift of reflection

unblemished by the venting of her thoughts…

she gave to me my own

to think on what I did

 

and in the end the most important gift she gave to me

the power to discern

void of outside criticism

 

Her body now fragile

as the soul calls her home

how subtle and tragic

it is to know

her time to leave

is on the horizon

 

follow me home

for there you shall rest

and I shall guard

the innocence of youth

into time the flow of the eternal

immortal and unblemished

the countenance of life

beyond what is known

 

She could have labeled me

an outcast

but instead she gave me wings to grow

from the experience

she must have known

we all need acceptance

and love

and that she gave to me

for she saw beyond

the trials of life

 

May the spirit of forgiveness

be graced upon her head

as she passes through

from here to there

for a rare jewel

refined and pure

is found within her heart

 

She could have been a bitch

but she chose kindness instead

May the love of God and all his angels

sing praises of her glory

 

In somberness and awareness

with trepidation for what beckons

we all must face in the end

 

May her journey be painless

may her light shine brightly

where nothing cannot be seen

where phantoms fade

and peace ascends

 

Everyday choices, have lasting eternal effects…

the love so great in the heart of a mother

she a mother and an exemplar to us all….

to love

to protect

and to guide

the youth to think…

to affect the choices

we make

 

She could have been a bitch

but instead she brought me into her fold

under her wing a distant memory

never will I forget

 

the lesson to learn

to wash a life clean

absolution

reigns supreme

a gift to give

a choice to make

where mercy is held

in the seat of the throne

to welcome us home

 

 

8/25/2018