Shall I Die

burlesque
Shall I die
Fall at your feet
And weep
In agony I cry
in love my heart breaks
To see my love’s heartache
What shall I do
As a result
Of all the pain I have caused
I weep
Shall I fall at your feet
And die
I cannot lie
I have been wrong
In so many ways
Maybe I don’t belong
in the graces of your company
I have been wrong
My mistakes slap me in my face
My stupid insecurities
My stupid in-sensitivities
I have failed you
What can I do
Erase myself
From your memory banks
If I leave
Will that set you free
I don’t want to go
I want to help you
In this fight
I will give you my life
I do not want to kill
Your dreams
I have been wrong
In all my fears
In all my rage
In all my erroneous
Judgemental ways
I want back in your heart
I want to hold you tenderly
(Name) my love
My life
I have been so wrong
Now I know
Just how wrong
And my life
Just does not fit
Shall I go
Will that
Ease your pain
I die out here alone
Without your love
I am lost
The cost
Of my ways
Has burdened
Our souls
I am torn
And dismayed
To my inner core
What have I done
To you
I have to undo
It is my duty
To you
To know
To respect
To trust
To honor
You in all your ways
My love is at your feet
My heart is in your hands
Our life together is in your command
I will hold your love up high
I will cherish your heart
Never will I part
I have been so wrong
For I threw you around
Toyed and let fear overtake
My mind’s playground
The jokes have been on me
All my dirty puns I threw back to you
I did not know what I threw to the ground
I will pick up the pieces
One by one
By introspection
I will look
At every one
I will polish
it new
So I may be worthy
To stand by you
Here I lay
Hear me pray
What shall I do
To take care of you
I love you so much
I will die for you
I wonder now
If I am dead in your mind
I cannot bare the thought
Of the damage I have done
Will we walk
Will we talk
Will we love
Will we live
I am so sorry
At my evil ways
My heart rips out
And is at your feet
I want to be strong
I want change
All I want is to make
Everything Right
I cannot eat
I cannot sleep
I cry
Shall I fall at your feet
And die
Tonight death’s door
I contemplate
Too easy the flesh dies
I will not give in
To the spirits that rob
And lie in wait
To see me fail
Tonight the pain of wrongs
Must be mourned
And cut out
Piece by piece
To whittle my heart
So it will fit
Back in its proper place
Home in your heart
I yearn to belong
I have been so wrong
My love please
Wash me clean
For I take responsibility
For all this pain
What shall I do
I lay in wait
And death’s door
Do I contemplate
3/26/1997
(Picture chosen for it’s dramatic pose, for when one questions death, one has practically landed into a dramatic realm, a realm where one must stand back up and not fall over backward by giving up.)
Video of Criminal by Fionna Apple that was popular at the time…

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