Shall I die

Fall at your feet

And weep

In agony I cry

in love my heart breaks

To see my love’s heartache

What shall I do

As a result

Of all the pain I have caused

I weep

Shall I fall at your feet

And die

I cannot lie

I have been wrong

In so many ways

Maybe I don’t belong

in the graces of your company

I have been wrong

My mistakes slap me in my face

My stupid insecurities

My stupid in-sensitivities

I have failed you

What can I do

Erase myself

From your memory banks

If I leave

Will that set you free

I don’t want to go

I want to help you

In this fight

I will give you my life

I do not want to kill

Your dreams

I have been wrong

In all my fears

In all my rage

In all my erroneous

Judgemental ways

I want back in your heart

I want to hold you tenderly

(Name) my love

My life

I have been so wrong

Now I know

Just how wrong

And my life

Just does not fit

Shall I go

Will that

Ease your pain

I die out here alone

Without your love

I am lost

The cost

Of my ways

Has burdened

Our souls

I am torn

And dismayed

To my inner core

What have I done

To you

I have to undo

It is my duty

To you

To know

To respect

To trust

To honor

You in all your ways

My love is at your feet

My heart is in your hands

Our life together is in your command

I will hold your love up high

I will cherish your heart

Never will I part

I have been so wrong

For I threw you around

Toyed and let fear overtake

My mind’s playground

The jokes have been on me

All my dirty puns I threw back to you

I did not know what I threw to the ground

I will pick up the pieces

One by one

By introspection

I will look

At every one

I will polish

it new

So I may be worthy

To stand by you

Here I lay

Hear me pray

What shall I do

To take care of you

I love you so much

I will die for you

I wonder now

If I am dead in your mind

I cannot bare the thought

Of the damage I have done

Will we walk

Will we talk

Will we love

Will we live

I am so sorry

At my evil ways

My heart rips out

And is at your feet

I want to be strong

I want change

All I want is to make

Everything Right

I cannot eat

I cannot sleep

I cry

Shall I fall at your feet

And die

Tonight death’s door

I contemplate

Too easy the flesh dies

I will not give in

To the spirits that rob

And lie in wait

To see me fail

Tonight the pain of wrongs

Must be mourned

And cut out

Piece by piece

To whittle my heart

So it will fit

Back in its proper place

Home in your heart

I yearn to belong

I have been so wrong

My love please

Wash me clean

For I take responsibility

For all this pain

What shall I do

I lay in wait

And death’s door

Do I contemplate

3/26/1997

(Picture chosen for it’s dramatic pose, for when one questions death, one has practically landed into a dramatic realm, a realm where one must stand back up and not fall over backward by giving up.)