Shadow of my Back

Shadow of my Back
When you come in and out of my life,
you bring the shadows along with thee.
Why should I want to be reminded of the times when you and I were free,
but now what remains are ghosts of the past,
the lessons learned why would I want to revisit that?
I think at times you come around
and throw your things around, just to play a trick on me.
I say boo to you, now go along and find your treats,
for it is not sex you want, but just another piece of me,
my time, my energy, or something, I am not sure,
but this I know your ghosts are not for me.
I have sat with mourning our history,
not that I do not care for you,
it is just now I care more about me,
and I am avoiding shadows of the past from en-strangling me.
Once my lover now my friend as Fionna sings, what a cunning way to condescend.…
Now please, I’ll be a friend, but not to be used,
nor play the fool for the games you play.
For when I have loved, it is natural to love,
but when I have been discarded one too many times,
I know when to shut my door.
Please my friend, you talk of charity,
but what do you give unto me.
I don’t cut others off,
yet when they waste my time endlessly,
day after day, and months on end,
the choice becomes a necessity
to remove the webs from within my domain.
My spirit unbound,
it flees from this monstrosity
generated by idle affairs,
not where my life will lead me,
from this grave I walk,
now please do not get offended,
but your deceit is not for me.
With eyes of love and actions of heart,
you took and turned to the dust of my bones,
and now in the wind I have blown away.
For when a man’s belly hits his spine,
he’ll stand up and be a man.
My cup runneth over in love,
yet my blood has been taken in vain,
and its time for me to seek what nourishes me,
and keep my treats for one who cherishes me.
The only gain I get is a muse to write about,
but in the end,
I need more than thoughts to carry me
and pages in a book to comfort me.
[Why would I want ghosts of the past to come in and out of my life,
once the lessons are learned,
its time to move on.
My thoughts when an ex wants to remain friends,
and come around to throw his trinkets around and lounge around for days,
to then go on to disappear for months to return again
just to bring the grave of our past to wash all over me again…and again…
no more…Boo!]
Halloween is over baby boo,
you bring me nothing but a trick
and all your treats
you used up long ago
and no more
shall I entertain
giving my heart to you
when all you want is
a place to run
to hide for a day or two
while your other suitors
wait on you…
your ghost shadows
your departures
and I shall no longer
let them linger through my door
for somewhere in the graveyard
of distant memories
the morning never came
and undone we spun
no more spiders
in my web
your eyes
have poisoned me
and left bite marks in my heart
Your trinkets you leave
like insects in ensnared
but the catch is not me
out with the cobwebs
my house is clean
and no more shall
I let your shadow
haunt my hallowed
recesses of mind…
wrapping up my spine
with a bow
now go and find your own
for you never had my back
but I gave you mine
countless times
but I’ve shed this skin
and now it is my own to give
not to figments
but to the living
and to the real
and not to the fake
the one who always hides behind the mask
is now seen for what he is
a dalliance
but no more…
for I always had your back
but now
the shadow of my back
is yours to keep

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