Rain, Rocks and Rage

rocksrain

Rain

My sadness pours forth

The pain will not stop

All the reasons of my seasons

Pour forth Rain

I cry because I’m sad

I cry because I’m bad

I cry because I’m mad

The clock will not stop

And yet it continues to rain

Lessons too absurd to reason

Too complex to understand

 

All I wanted was love from birth

My Mom did not know how

My father couldn’t find the time

And you could not commit

My need too great

And your love and or strength?? too weak

 

My thoughts alone storm these seas

No love, no esteem, or self respect

Fighting to keep it

Life continuously taking it

My desperation grows

My need is ignored

 

I will not walk in the sun

For I am scarred and it is has scarred me

No one but me will understand

I walk in Rain

 

Rocks

Rocks come and go

Pebbles on the sand

Rolling to and fro

Where will they go

 

On to shine in beauty & refinement

Or to be weathered and eroded away

 

By Rain & Wind & Time

 

Our love is a rock a chip

off the block of something

larger than life

14 years go rolling by…tick..tock

What will become of our rock

 

Rage

Rage can be a stumbling block

May crash upon our rock

Will it dent it or shatter it

 

Dents can be polished away

But what is shattered is lost

 

So what chips away at me

must be taken away unless

I am to remain lost

 

If I were intuitive what

would that be (you asked) that I would see

 

Rage blinds

I’m not just mad at you

I have nothing to do

I am paralyzed by you

You say you love me

then why are you harsh

 

I am intuitive and it hurts

You see I know how much my

heart can take before it breaks

 

Rage boils…To control it

I must vent lest I be nothing

and the Rage steams on at that

for that is what I am

 

So Rain Rocks and Rage

What could it be

What will it be

 

I feel I am a stranger

in my own house

 

I do not think I will

ever be happy

When I get too close

you run away

 

So in 14 years many lessons

to be captured and endured

 

I have loved

I have hoped

and I am lost

 

Will the rain wash and toss

the rocks to smoothness

to shine or will the rage

of the current thrash

them to bits

 

Yes, this be our Anniversary

and I guess #14 will

have to be bittersweet

 

For today I love and hate

you all the same

So to you a very Happy Unhappy Anniversary

With all my love & rage

 

2-19-96

Note: Quite a bit of background info to this piece omitted at this time.

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