My babies are so beautiful, each and everyone, so unique, so delicate and yet so fragile.

I love them so, I wonder if they’ll ever know. As years go by, I watch them grow, baby eyes and baby skin into adults begin.

I wonder how they’ll perceive their lives as youths. I wonder if they’ll find their way. I wonder if the mistakes will be small or will they be great as to let them fall.

My daughter my flower, my first born beauty opens and closes, blossoms and fades in and out of phases but always so sentimental. My little girl who knows all truth growing up a little too fast, confusing to sort all the facts, wanting to retreat from all the pressure. Just try and relax and live your dreams. Don’t let your attitudes wax and wane. Try to be consistent in what you do and don’t ever forget my Princess, I Love You.

My first born son, the Hunter of Nature, my second born beauty, collecting things of the Earth, sticks and leaves, shells and stones, pine cones, and you name it. I wish I had a mountain for you to put all that you find. Remember these little treasures in your mind. Your heart is so tender. Don’t let it get broken. You smile like the sun. Your eyes shine like the stars. You’re my mellow child man; always keep that alive. The fantasy you play, remember your vision that the Moon Can Talk. For I will always remember the illusions you create. You’re a magical child, psychic in some ways. Trust your intuition, and you’ll go far. You’re grounded and balanced, and I’m thankful for that. You will be a man much like your father in the ways of being sensitive and sweet. Don’t be troubled by things you can’t control. Your nature is pure. You will overcome because resilient you are, you’ll go very far. And always remember my sweet you’ve made me complete, and I Love You so much.

My baby, my third born child, you are an angel sent from Heaven above to bring me love, and give me joy. My precious little boy you are always so happy. You are always so good. I hope that all you wish for will come true especially for you. You coo and smile. I love your dimple on your cheek. You know you snicker so cute that’s why your Daddy said a nickname of Snicker would be so cute. I hope life will be fair to you, for my child I Love You too!

For my husband my lasting love I write to you these messages to be perfectly clear in telling you of my Love for you. Times have been hard. I did not think that you could understand. Maybe it was not the right time. As time has evolved you’ve shown to be a truly sensitive man. You are so strong. But now I see your vulnerability. There is so much pain in life, so many lessons to be learned. I wonder if anyone will ever understand it all.

You’ve given me life. I hope I haven’t taken too much. I hope I’ve made you happy at least some of the time. I know living with me hasn’t been easy. Living with you, I’ve certainly had my share of the blues, not always your fault. I understand the past is behind us and no telling what lies ahead. However the past three years I must commend thee, you’ve been so patient and dear. You help me and talk to me like never before. You are such a beautiful Father in every way, such a wonderful person when you show your heart. I really don’t deserve someone as wonderful as you. I hope I am not a disappointment to you.

You gave me three beautiful babies and they are all you. You are such a hard worker and you’ve made our life easy. We haven’t wanted for much and all I want is for you to know and understand that I really Love You.

I hope I don’t leave you a Lonely Man.

9-18-91 (4.5 months after my world crashed, seeing the positive amidst a storm…which finally rolled in off the horizon 4.5 years later 3-10-96…damn talk about numbers!)

I knew I could not stay after discovering a vulnerability, yet I had to do so with compassion, for he without sin cast the first stone, but for the sake of myself and children I had to for what message would I have sent had I stayed?