Momentary Awareness

Mask of Venice

A man who cannot face his self

Is a man who lives behind a mask

Always creating his false illusions

Entertaining nothing but a masquerade

His audience may laugh and clap

But in the end he faces the dark all alone

 

Take your piety and your self-imposed superiority

And face God

Who will strip that costume you’ve been wearing

And show you just exactly who you are

 

Much better to address these issues while you can

It is much easier than you think

However it is a death that kills to the core

To face all the travesties of one’s very own soul

 

Too many hold on in self-denial

Too unwilling to plore within

Fearing the pain the truth will bring

Too blind to see liberation on the other side

 

I too have died a death of self

I too clung to my lies and deceit

Yet in the end, I had to face myself

The truth did set me free

Yet in that freedom is the right to choose

And the struggle continues to keep the masks

That were so enticing to wear buried in the grave of history

 

Honor, respect, charity and sensitivity are easy marks

That many take for granted and do not know the power of

In humility I will be taken advantage of

Yet in the end, I pray that I will be in complete surrender

To the workings that the Lord hath destined me to live

 

[Let this momentary awareness become so intrinsic

In everything that I do

So that love will shine

And the ego cannot come forth from the darkness it always brings

And to be strong enough to keep the masks not on my face

And to be able when I fail to put them back in their proper place

And to acknowledge my failings and live in truth

And may I not wield my knowledge of the truth in ways that my Lord would not have me do

For all and all I am nothing without his grace and mercy

As I have sinned and gone astray my share countless times]

10/14/1998

Note: I took my time thinking about the meanings within the passages of the Bhagavad Gita as I read it. I had been introspecting for months, and had found myself extremely depressed for almost 2 months prior to reading the English translation by Eknath Easwaran. When I finally finished the book it was like a light bulb went off in my head, I felt completely free and liberated from matters that had weighed me down, the defenses I had over my mistakes in life. It was as though the ego fought tooth and nail to not let me face the truth of myself. Yet, when I did, I found liberation. There was a complete shift in my thinking. I came to understand the illusions at play in the field of Maya, and stepped outside of them. Also scripture references that came to mind were 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Colossians 4:6. (Reference to piety was to an individual that was partly behind the inspiration of this piece.)

I must also add that when I speak of deceit, it is often its subtleties, not intentional malevolent acts, yet the actions born of unconscious awareness for the magnitude of their potential to reign negative consequences; often manifest in retrospect we affected in our actions to either accept responsibility for or slip into the oblivion of denial.

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